Nerdy Cat Scuba Travels

Can you really be Nomadic? My attempt traveling around the world...

Stress and Mental Health During Covid-19

My Life Put on Hold 2020

At the beginning of the year, I was full of inspiration and opportunities. I spent NYE in Cuba. February in Colorado. Beginning of March in Lake Tahoe. Traveling is who I am. Then came Covid-19.

The Ides of March

March seems so far away now. It’s hard to think about life before Covid-19. On Monday, March 16th, I got the notice about the Shelter in Place order in SF. Like everyone else, I went to the market. Stocked up on toilet paper, pasta, rice, flour, and anything else that I could find. Shelves were sparse. I bought a puzzle. My mind prepared for a few weeks of staying in my house and not driving anywhere. A small thought about what I would say if I got caught driving to see family. Maybe I could say I had a toothache and I was on the way to an emergency dental appointment.

Don’t Go Outside – Don’t do Anything

For two months, Mid-March through May, I stayed indoors. I went outside for essentials only. I started doing yoga and online workouts. I stocked up on kindle books. I got to know my new roommates in SF. Some good days. Some bad days. I’d try multiple times a day to try to order groceries from amazon prime.  The grocery store seemed dangerous. Most don’t know, but there were days where I would wake up in bed crying because I didn’t have the motivation to wake up and do anything. A deep gutted anxiousness. I kept thinking about what I should do with my life. “When is this going to end? Do I need money? What am I going to do? Can I see my family?”  I didn’t complain to others because I didn’t have kids or a real job. I felt like I didn’t have that right. I bought another puzzle. I baked more. Everything became units of time. I needed things to do to get through each day. I used 25lbs of flour making an upside down blueberry cake, banana bread, cookies, belgian waffles, jaozi, bing, pizza, bagels, and cinnamon rolls.

Breaking Point

My roommates thought I was an introvert that never liked going out. If they only knew who I used to be. My mental health hit a breaking point.  I couldn’t keep staying inside. I started going on long walks. 15K plus steps in a day. I would wander all around Golden Gate Park. Like others, I think I realized that this could go on for a year or more. I had to go back “into the world.” Isolation couldn’t be the only solution.

Levels of paranoia of the COVID-19 Transmission

  • 10 – Everyone Stay away. Shelter in Place. No interactions
  • 9 – Shelter in Place, Outside for Essential Errands only
  • 8 – Wear a mask at all times whenever outside of the house. No one gets within 6 ft
  • 7 – Wear a mask, but I also still visit friends, but keep socially distant
  • 6 – wear a mask, some friends are within my bubble, all others are socially distant
  • 5 – wear a mask, keep socially distance with strangers; friends are within 6ft
  • 4 – wear a mask, meet people within 6ft, but keep a distance if they request
  • 3 – wear a mask sometimes while walking around, i still hug people when i see people
  • 2 – Only wear a mask when required to go in a store. Seeing all friends and going out
  • 1 – No mask wearing. Going out as if nothing happened

At first, I was at a level 10. But as the days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, months turned to seasons, I’ve changed. My anxiety started to go away. Now I feel I’m at level 6. By June, I started visiting friends and family again. Even my weekly visits to see my dad have slowly started to change. At first, I would sit at another table, wear a mask, wipe down everything. Now we sit together. Masks are only on when we take walks around the neighborhood.

It’s weird to admit this, but I felt as though I needed to hide any real happiness. Don’t share photos where you are too close to people. Social media became a shackle more than something of enjoyment.  Can I post this photo?  What about the racial injustices?  The Black Lives Matter movement. Nothing seemed appropriate (to post)

Fourth of July and COVID-19

It didn’t feel right to celebrate the Fourth of July holiday. With the politics and BLM movement, I felt a strong dislike for the American Flag. Trump doesn’t represent me.

However, walking around the city that night, I became inspired again with all the fireworks across the skyline. The city needed to let off a little steam. Beautiful lights illuminated the sky. People enjoying themselves- hanging out around the parks, in front of their homes, in the streets.  I felt happiness that night that I hadn’t felt in a long time. That feeling of being a tourist, seeing something new. I think I walked about 27k steps that day/night. I couldn’t stop soaking up the liveliness.

Setbacks – Everything with 2020 is still BAD

Throughout July, I started feeling like myself again. I stopped checking the COVID-19 tracker. I stopped obsessing over the test positivity rate. I went camping with friends. I started going to outdoor restaurants. Going offline and camping recharged me. Being in the wilderness let me forget about everything that’s wrong with the world right now.

There are moments where I feel like things will be ok. Then another disaster happens to remind me that the world is ending. Forest Fires. Jacob Black in Wisconsin.

What does 210k people dead mean?

People are dying. Traveling is unsafe. The rest of the world is going back to normal, where “we” as Americans are trapped in a pandemic without any signs of improvement. Arguments about mask wearing, social distance, and if this is even “real” continue. Anxiety and anxious comes in waves. When is this ever going to end? What am I doing with my life?

I feel like I keep waking up to a test on life. Can I get through this? When will I be ok? The cliché movie – Groundhog’s Day, seems like a reality. When will I perform the perfect day to force us to move on to a better world? If I can just focus on spending time with my family and becoming an SF local, maybe my life will be better.

Small Goals for Mental Health Awareness

I realize looking to 2021 is too far away. Instead, I set small goals each month. August: Swim Alcatraz. September: Learn how to do a Handstand. October: Swim without a wetsuit in the bay area.   Each week I try to stay on a path of sanity. Pushing myself to keep going. Someday this “Pandemic” will be over and I’ll be able to start my life back up again. Small  goals. Small wins.

Conservatives and Trump Supporters For Black Lives Matter

Now is the time to Listen – Ask Questions, Empathy

I’m not black. I’ve never suffered injustices because of my race. Sure, there have been small instances of racism, but nothing that compares to other minorities. I’m not trying to solve discrimination or racism. This is not the issue. I cry at night before I fall asleep and wake up crying because I feel hopeless in a state of chaos. I haven’t been this uneasy about life since I was in high school taking sociology, learning about racism for the first time. My heart aches.

I want to Listen to Trump Supporters

That sounds weird, but I really want to understand the other side. I don’t believe that all Trump supporters or conservatives are against BLM. But why is it wrong to say that Black lives matter. Not even to say they are equal, just that they MATTER. Why would it be a bad thing for Trump to say Black Lives Matter.”? If you say the phrase aloud, does that tarnish your values as a person? Does it ruin the economy?

I want to listen to my conservative friends. If I listen and provide empathy and understanding, perhaps we can have a conversation about priorities. The small details in the current news will show looting. Will show that George Floyd was talking back. Conspiracy stories of coincidences of investigations of Biden at the same time as the protests.  If you take a step back from the small details there is a bigger story here. I wasn’t alive during Martin Luther King Jr. or Rosa Parks. ‘Separate but Equal’. What was it like this? Imagine being a supporter of the cops sticking dogs on people? Fire hoses on crowds. Or that while MLK Jr spoke about equality, you mentioned he was a womanizer. Where are these people today? Do they still feel the same way? Do Trump supporters want to be on that side of history?

This from March 7, 1965

Current Events:

Current events vs Past Civil Rights Movements

BLM protests are now in all 50 states. Around the world. Hundreds of thousands of people are risking their health and safety by protesting for injustices in USA. In the future, children will read stories that people looted stores, set cop cars on fire, but that they were also hit by rubber bullets and attacked by cops. The future history books will show how Trump posed in front of a church while people protested.  If this were a movie, would it end happily with conservatives squashing protests? As a trump supporter, or a conservative, what would need to happen to make you happy? Is the goal to make all this go away? Will Black people accept their fate?  If you are in an abusive relationship and finally speak out? Is there a point in time where you go back and stay with your oppressor for an “easier” life? Maybe. OR will a stranger help you overcome this hardship. I want to be that stranger.

Inappropriate Comparisons

Would you support Nazis? Of course not, no one wouldn’t support Nazis. But thats now. During WWII, people watched Jews being tagged and eventually hauled off to concentration camps.

Am I saying “white” people are Nazis? HELL NO.  But what is happening in USA right now paints a picture to me on how it could happen. Jews were blamed for for losing WWI. “They” were bad for society. History shows the racism and atrocities now, but during that time, if a person wanted to protect a Jew, that took a lot more effort than to stay silent.

It takes courage to go against your beliefs and change. United States refused a Jew Refugees sanctuary. Hindsight 20/20 – maybe USA should have saved these people, but it’s too late now.  I don’t want my conservative friends to look back at this movement and think it was a conspiracy so that Biden would win the election. Someone didn’t plan for George Floyd to turn into a martyr.  It happened because of pent up anger for the past 400 years. It’s about injustice from the people that are supposed to protect all of us.

At the beginning of this, I couldn’t care less if Target burned. I said ALL Cops are BAD. I was tired of the “not all cops are bad” statement. However, a friend pulled me aside. Told me how hurtful these statements were. I thought about it. I was wrong. Some cops are good. They are the ones that will have a harder job to do now. I support all the policemen and women that are protecting are for change. I hope that they have the courage to report the bad ones and help us change for a better society. I’m sorry for saying ACAB.

Just DELETE ME

It’s easy just to delete friends. I admit that I have walked away from friendships. Not my proudest moment. I wish I was stronger to talk to them. Listen and understand, try to come to a common ground. If it’s about the economy, if it’s about religion, if it’s about lower federal regulations – we can still be friends and say we have different priorities. But if we put pause on these issues, can we both agree that discrimination at this level is wrong? Can we come together to set policy changes that includes accountability for the greater good? Let’s come together to try to do one thing right for humans. All humans. We both will live in a safer community than what we have right now. If we fail to make at least ONE change in policy, that means life in the USA now is as good as it gets.  Watching a man in hand cuffs slowly die surrounded by 4 cops will become the norm.

For my conservative and Trump supporting friends. If you are against police injustice. Say so. Let people know that you have contacted your city or state representative. Donate to an organization that will fight against injustice. There’s no need to follow it up with “but look at the looting” or “all lives matter”. To say that takes away from the message that you are on the same side for a human rights issue. Over simplification here…. But   It’s like telling your Mom she’s beautiful, but she shouldn’t have worn that dress. Sometimes it’s just best to tell your Mom she looks great. 

My Top Underrated Place to Visit in Taiwan

Taiwan is a small island off the coast of China. The largest economic state NOT recognized by the UN. Population over 23 million. Often overlooked and underrated by the typical tourist its becoming one of my favorite destinations. This last trip opened my eyes to whole other side of island. It’s not just Taipei. There’s more. In fact, there’s a complete different vibe in the southwest. For a short time, I got ride bikes, swim in the ocean, scuba dive, hike and relax in a hot spring.

Not this Taiwan! This is in Ximen – Taipei with my Dad. What else does Taiwan have?

Getting There – Arriving in Taipei and Getting to Taitung

A few weeks before my arrival, both my Dad and my friend Beverly helped plan every step of my journey from the arrival gate at the TPE airport to the train station in Taitung. I’m ready for this. I touch down bright and early at 5am.  Walking around, there’s this familiar feeling walking through a foreign airport. Everyone has black hair and eyes like me. I can (more or less) understand people. In America, I look different; but people know I’m American because of my accent and mannerisms. Here, in Taiwan. I blend in. I’m just like everyone else until I open my mouth and people hear my accent. It’s a nice feeling.

What’s that called? How do you say it in Chinese?

I think I can hold a conversation with a 3 year native speaking Chinese kid. We probably can both recognize the same characters. “Mom- 媽” “Dad- 爸” “Dog- 狗”.  As I leave the airport, I run into my first anxiety attack.

At the bus loading zone, the driver asked “Where are you going?” Simple enough. The train station. Damn, whats the word in Chinese? I struggled and mumbled. Trying to move my hands into a shape of a train. Someone spoke up “Train Station?!” Oh yes, thats right. Train -> “火車 – Fire Car“. I repeat the phrase. Humiliated, I get on the bus. I whisper “火車” to myself again. Duh.

An hour later, I get to the multi level bus and train station. It’s barely 7am. The station is sparse. I walk into Family Mart to purchase some snacks before my train ride. Two hard boiled tea eggs, some savory bread, and seaweed chips. I’m excited to eat these tasty treats. But as soon as I try to pay, I realize I’m in trouble. They don’t accept foreign credit cards. National Taiwanese credit cards only. I go to the ATM at the back of the store, but that’s also National Taiwanese cards only as well. I sadly set my tea eggs down and walk out empty handed. I board the train and try not to let my hunger bother me.

Southeast side of Taiwan – Taitung, Green Island and Dulan

3.5 hours later, I arrive to Taitung train station. I see a 7-Eleven, and I buy some tea eggs, sausage and bread with my Chase credit card.  Good Ol’ 7-Eleven! Beverly and James, my two friends from San Diego that moved to Taiwan about 6 months prior, pick me up from the train station. Beverly, born in Taiwan, speaks and reads Chinese. I’m so thankful that I have her as a crutch while I try to practice my Chinese. MVP. They pick me up and we are officially on vacation.

Food Tour – The best Taiwanese treats in the South East

We drive to our Airbnb, drop things off and find a restaurant nearby: Rong Shu Xia Rice Noodles. I order some rice noodles and a side dish of some tasty treats. The noodles cost about $2 and the tasty treats about $3. The Prices! I’m definitely not in LA anymore! After ordering, we walk in the back where a guy with full red colored teeth mumbles something at me. At first, I cant really respond because I can’t stop looking at his red mouth. Then I realize he’s asking about our order number and how many we have in our party. I respond and sit down.  I ask James about the red mouth thing. “It’s Betel Nuts. Taiwanese chewing gum. People suck and chew on these for a high thats similar to 6 cups of coffee, causing their teeth to appear blood stained.” I try not to look at the guy’s mouth again.  James comments on my Chinese. “Not bad at all!”

We rent some bikes and go to the Taitung Forest Park.  We ride by the Flowing Lake and the Seaside Park.  The park is pretty flat and we finish riding around in about 2 hours. Towards the end of the day, we go to a park near the bus station. Lots of cute decorations and art work. My friends and I stop by a hipster beer place and buy overpriced imported lagers and enjoy the sunset. Surprisingly, its a little cold.

For dinner we go to this BBQ place. It’s another meal where I over eat and couldn’t be more happy.

Green Island

The next day we start our Green Island adventure by taking a short 50 minute ferry ride. There ferry has multiple levels and probably about 12-15 seats in each row.  Each seat pockets holds one very important one barf bag. Most of the Taiwanese tourists onboard are not used to boat rides. About 20 minutes into the ride, I start hearing yacking noises. I try to ignore it by taking a quick nap. The boat sways a little. Passengers react with more sea-sickness. 

We safely arrive the Green Island Pier. We disembark and are greeted by our Airbnb host. A young tan skinny shirtless guy wearing board shorts and flip flops. He tells us that he will help us rent some cheap electric scooters so we can all get to the Airbnb. He can help us hold the luggage. Beverly and I look at each other. We don’t know how to ride scooters. We compare our experiences and I tell her the only time I’ve been on a scooter I just missed hitting a parked car. And with that, Beverly decides to drive the scooter and I will ride on the back of James’ scooter. The good news is that the scooters have a max speed of 25 mph. We put on our helmets on and a way we go! Our airbnb is on the main street, top level of a Thai restaurant. we walk thru the restaurant tables to get to the stairway up to our unit. I’m vibing on this unique experience. We relax, enjoy the view and then set off on our little scooters to tour the island. We ride around, getting delicious chocolate croissant like donuts and coffee. We explore the different beaches until it starts getting dark. We relax around our Airbnb neighborhood and then go out to some popular local joint that serves large hot pot like Lamb stews. The meal is accompanied by Taiwanese National beer. The vibe is chill around the island. By 9pm, the place is quiet. We all pass out early. Island Lifestyle.

Zhaori Hot Spring

The next day Beverly, James and I wake up early to watch the sunrise at the Zhaori Hot Spring.  We get to the spring and there’s only one other family there. Multiple pools with a pretty view of the ocean, along with an indoor pool. We watch the sunrise and shortly afterwards, dark clouds appear and it starts to rain.  Light sprinkles turn into big drops. We keep hopping into different pools, but the rain is bringing down the mood. We give up and decide to shower and leave. For a couple of bucks, we each buy these light yellow ponchos and ride back on our scooters. We are ready for some nice hot breakfast. We drive over to the local breakfast joint and order a bunch of different Chinese pancakes with eggs and assorted meats. About $2 for each order. I try to get some salty soy milk, but they only have the sweetened ones. No coffee.

Underwater Mail Box

Just a short swim off the coast, Green Island has an underwater post office box in the shape of a sea horse. After breakfast, I show up a little early to the dive shop to assemble my gear for a noon diving time.  About 10 motorcycling group customers show up to the shop. I realize they are also going to the mailbox. One out of the 10 guys is certified. I quickly realize there is no way we are going to leave on time. I start regretting this mailbox dive, but I’m already there. I hang out at the dive shop while the instructors do an DSD (discover scuba diving) session in the small pool. Once complete, I gear up and accompany 8 instructors and 10 MC gang to the ocean. The DSD’ers aren’t given fins and the instructors help them one by one into the water. Soon after, each of the instructor is holding the tanks of each DSD as we descend about 5-10 meters. I wait at the bottom of the ocean at least 10 minutes before the entire group makes it down.

The Photoshoot

The motorcycle group starts taking out flags for photos. I look around and watch the instructors release bread out to the fish. There’s plenty to see, but mostly I’m just looking at the dive site like its an underwater mall. All around me are DSD groups floating around. Probably about 40-50 people underwater. Touching things and posing for countless photos. I’m in a scuba diving nightmare.

By the time we reach the post office box, I’m completely over it. At one point, each instructor brings the diver to a spot where they kneel each diver snap a photo of them with a Nemo Clown fish. Repeat 10 times.  FINALLY, we reach the post box. Each DSD’er poses next to the post office box with their post card and then drop it into the box. I’m last. No one is really paying attention to me because they are too busy managing the DSD’ers.  At this point I just shove my postcards into the already full box and swim away. I look at the postbox; a cool concept to help encourage people to visit and dive. But I can’t imagine any certified scuba diver having fun in this environment.

The dive finishes within 30 minutes and we climb out of the water and head back to the shop. I take a break and wait for the group to leave. Now its just me, two instructors and 3 new divers. Two girls from Singapore and one backpacker from the Netherlands. Our small group gets in a van and drives out to the pier for our set of boat dives. We meet another local diver and away we go.

The next two dives are completely opposite from the mailbox. The water is deep blue with healthy corals and large fish. The instructors and I talk about the tourists and Green Island in general. The madness of the underwater mail box. All of the scooters around the island. Soon, both instructors will end their dive season and go home. One to Hong Kong and the other will go back to the main island.

I’m lucky to come at the end of the season (October). The dive sites are beautiful, perhaps one of the top places I’ve ever been. I can’t imagine if they were all like the underwater mail box. Three dives costs me less than $100 USD. 

The next day we go to a beach and I swim about 40 minutes out to the deep ocean. I can see down to the floor. Large fish swimming around the valleys of coral. Insane visibility. On the way back to shore, I pass by some turtles. I look up to try to signal to James. He’s too far off on the beach. I take a second to enjoy the experience. I stick my head back in the water and continue swimming.

A Surfer’s Paradise – Dulan

After a few days, we head back to  the main island and go to Dulan.  A small surfer town with some expats and more good food. Dulan has surf between November and April.

Our Airbnb this time is connected to a book store. The first floor is an artsy book store with a place for kids to sit and do activities. Our floor feels like a loft with a set of twin beds and furniture made of drift wood. We find out that the owners live in a container on the roof. There’s a Taiwanese hipster vibe around here.

We walk around the beach and hang out at this open large field with store front containers. We sip on sangria and watch instagram influencers pose and do selfies.

For dinner we drive to this small neighborhood restaurant, that looks a house converted into a restaurant. Every seat is taken. We order large pork bone noodles with a side of cold Chinese dishes. pig ears, soy sauce eggs, sea weed, and tofu. I seriously can’t believe how cheap everything is. The pork bone noodles are $4!!!

The next day we drive along the coast and pull over to enjoy the nice weather. I go for a quick swim.  I swim past large concrete jack formations (dolosse). Fish swim in and out of the formations. Beyond the blocks, the water turns deep blue.  I have a random thought about a shark swimming up and eating me. I laugh at my paranoia and then start to head back to shore. The water temperature couldn’t be better. 

Hunger strikes again and the Taiwanese food doesn’t disappoint. Dishes for less than $5. Noodles, rice dishes, and jiaozi. I have to stop myself from ordering everything on the menu.

In the afternoon we go on a drive up the mountain and stop at a Coffee shop/ art gallery. From there, you get a great view of the town and the ocean.  We order a couple of coffees and then wander around the building.

In the late afternoon we head back to Taitung so I can catch a flight back to Taipei. Coincidentally the main park has an an aborigine cultural fair. I eat yet another snack. Roasted pork and sausage.

My time in the Southwest has gone by too fast. I’m sad to leave my friends and this side of the island. I knew Hualin and Kenting were great tourist attractions, but I had no idea on how much this area had to offer. Lots of scuba diving, swimming, hiking, food and more.

This place is more my style. Low Key. Less Tourists. Great Swimming. Artistic. Tasty Food at affordable prices. 

As I board the plane, I know that this is somewhere I will return. Perhaps I can live here for a few months and practice Chinese. Time will tell. 

Is it safe to go to Jordan?

Me walking solo in Siq – Petra

Sitting in a taxi cab at 3am on a dark, windy road with a driver trying to caress my hand, I wondered if I made a mistake coming to Jordan. Is this normal in an Arabic country? My guide had told me I shouldn’t have any problems catching a taxi to the hotel. Yet, here I am, solo and anxious.

I don’t know what to do. If I get out of the car now, I wouldn’t know who to call or how to get another taxi. 

How to get out of Amman Airport

It all started when I first got into the taxi and he pulled over while exiting the airport,  requesting me to sit up front to help navigate. At first I said no, but he was persistent. We exit the airport. Each time I hold up my phone with navigation, he reaches for my wrist. I try to reposition the phone. His hand goes down towards my leg;   I quickly place my pillow on of my leg to cover it. He squeezes the pillow instead. Pervert. 

What should have been a short 20 minute drive to the hotel, turned into a 45 minute drive with slow downs and stops on dark abandoned roads.

As soon as we arrive to my hotel, I pay the overpriced fare and hurry to the front door of the hotel. Even as I pay, he makes sure to ask for a tip in addition to the fare. I hurry to the front door and sigh in relief when I check in. The hotel receptionist notices that I’m a little overwhelmed. He patiently waits for me to calm down. I check in, head to my room, shower, and go to bed. I toss and turn while thinking about the the taxi ride. Frustrated at myself for the lack of confidence during the ordeal. 

Traveling Solo as a Woman in Jordan

The next morning, my guide, Nidal, is late. A slight panic hits me. What if I have to call a taxi driver instead? What if he’s a pervert too? I text my friend Nina for advice since she referred me to Nidal. She texts back and confirms he’s on the way.  Nidal arrives shortly after and apologizes profusely. I explain why I was panicked, recounting the entire taxi experience from the night before. He stands there with his mouth open. Shocked. 

“Give me the receipt –  I’m going to call the police.”

“The man never gave me one.”

Nidal explains this behavior is a crime and is not tolerated. It is illegal for a man to touch a woman he does not know. He said that if I had the receipt, the man could go to jail for up to 7 years. 

“This never happens.” Less than 5% chance. I smile knowing that Nidal is now here to protect me now and guide me around Jordan. He loads my suitcase into the car and we head to Amman to tour the city. My first day itinerary – Amman City and the Dead Sea. At night, I’m meeting up with my friend, Habib, in the South. 

My itinerary

Night 1/ Day 1: Arrive

Day 2: Amman and Dead Sea

Day 3: Aqaba City and Wadi Rum Jeep Tour, Wadi Rum Bubble Tent

Day 4: Petra. Depart.

A Typical Route of a Jordan Vacation

Day 1: Amman

Day 2: Petra

Day 3 and 4: Wadi Rum

Day 5: Aqaba City and Dead Sea

Day 6: Depart

How long should I stay in Jordan?

4 nights / 3 days. (Minimum) I think most people can stay longer, but if you are on a tight vacation budget, you can do the big items in this short period. 

When is the best and worst time to visit Jordan?

I visited Jordan in July, the HOTTEST time of the year. One day, the temperature reached 115Deg F. Once we were over 100 deg F, everything felt the same. Jacket on or off didn’t make a difference. While wearing a tank top, I felt the sun baking my skin. I was roasting. So instead I actually wore my jacket while hiking around. I needed to cover up against the blazing sun. 

The good news is that if you visit during the worst temperatures, you will get the lowest crowds. I was able to book my entire trip within 2 weeks of travel. Scoring great deals on our bubble tent and private guide. 

The Top Tourist Attractions to See in Jordan

Dead Sea

While many people associate Dead Sea to Israel, did you know you can also take a dip on the other side in Jordan? FWIW, I’ve been told that the dead sea on the Jordan side is cleaner and nicer than the Israel side. My guide arranged for me to visit a “pay site” where there are shower facilities, multiple pools, and a restaurant.  The entrance was free, but I had to purchase a buffet lunch for 11 JD ($15). I was happy to pay money to be in a safe and clean area. Bonus points for lunch with AC. I walked around in a bikini worry-free. Note, there are places where you can dip in for free, but I heard they weren’t as “clean.”

The Dead Sea feels like you are in a bathtub with a bunch of floaties on. I try to dunk and swim down, but it was too buoyant.  I laid on top of the water for about 30 minutes before I decided to go to the pool and swim instead. As I walk to the pool, my skin dries with little salt flakes. By the time I shower, my entire body felt like a dry, salted fish.

Wadi Rum – Valley of the Moon

Perhaps my favorite attraction of Jordan over Petra. Another benefit of a private guide, Nidal arranged for us to have a brand new truck with shade for our Jeep Tour of Wadi Rum.  Those without a guide, can negotiate at the entrance for a ride around the park. 

The jeep is shiny and clean despite all the sand blowing around as we trek across the desert. The first thing we see are gigantic walls of rock formations. The sand is deep in rich orange and red colors.

We stop at various mesas and rock formations. We say hello to the locals and the camels. Walk in the canyons and admire the landscape. 

We climb up the boulders and then run down the sand dunes.

Wadi Rum Rock Formations Jeep Tour

In the afternoon, we check in at a luxury bedouin camp. We splurge on a Bubble Tent. Moon Alley. A row of Big Plastic Bubbles in the dessert. Our tent has a two door system to keep the bubble full of cold AC air. My jaw drops as I step in. The room itself has a full bathroom, a large king size bed and clear views of the sky and valley. I lay down on the bed and can’t get over the view. It’s simply stunning. Beating out every hotel I’ve ever stayed in my life.

Life on Mars – Wadi Rum Bubble Tents

At night, we go to the common area where we eat a traditional bediuin dinner which includes a man making fresh falafels. The falafels were moist on the inside and crunchy on the outside. 

Is Aqaba City Worth Visiting? 

In short? Not really. If you aren’t a scuba diver, I would skip it. I didn’t plan to dive here mainly because I only came to Jordan for Habib’s 40th birthday.  Diving would have taken up at least a full day of time we didn’t have. 

I think most people are here for a stopover city between Israel (Eliat) and Jordan (Aqaba).  We spent a few hours walking around the pier and beach. Had a tasty traditional Mansaf. I think I will save this city for when I do a liveaboard diving excursion in the Red Sea. 

Petra

Petra – Not the Treasury View… Palace Tombs

The most instagrammable location. Temples. Caves. Ancient City Ruins. The treasury is carved into the sandstone wall. One could spend days in Petra. For the casual traveler, a full 6 hour day can cover all the top tourist attractions.  Our Jordan pass covered us for a 1 day pass. The pass included a free donkey ride down to the Siq. We declined it because we didn’t want to bother with the tip haggling. 

The secret to an enjoyable visit at Petra

I can not stress this enough- pay for a donkey to take you up to the monastery.  The cost is 10 JD and you must tip the young boy guiding your donkey. Instead of sweating and walking 1500 steps, you sit on a donkey and pass everyone struggling with each step. 4 legs are better than 2. 

A Donkey will climb 1500 stairs to the Monastery at Petra

Once at the top, Habib and I were able to snap shots with almost no other tourists. Benefits of a hot day in July. 

On the way back, splurge and pay 20JD (with $2 tip) for a horse carriage back to the entrance of Petra. Why do this? The entire hike back to the entrance is up hill. You can either walk in the hot sun for 1.5 hours or pay a man to take you on a fun ride for 15 minutes.  The price for the horse carriage is actually round trip, but we wanted to walk one way so we could enjoy the Sik when we first entered. 

Amman

Amman City View

Nidal tells me over 10 million people live in Amman. 

In Amman, I visit the Citadel Hill, Roman Theatre and the King Abdullah Mosque.  Each site is included in the Jordan Pass.  

The King Abdullah, aka Blue Mosque, welcomes non-muslims to visit and provides loaner burkas.  This is my first ever mosque. Nidal explains the carpet, the prayer clocks, podium and etiquettes. 

We take some photos and then head to the gift shop. My only traveller advice only buy things in the gift shops that look really unique and different. Most items like magnets, little dishes, keepsakes can be purchased at a fraction of the cost at Petra. My guide didn’t recommend me to purchase anything in Petra, but I think that’s because he has a commission deal with the shops we visited. 

At the end of the trip, we had some extra time to explore, so we went to Rainbow Street. There we got to walk through a street market with lots of local arts and crafts. Restaurants, fast food, shops and stands were CASH ONLY

I would recommend Amman as a good base city to start and end of a trip in Jordan, but not worth staying for more than one day. It’s about a 30 minute to 1 hour drive depending on traffic.  

Getting there – Arrivals

Before getting to Jordan, I purchased the Jordan Pass (https://jordanpass.jo/ ) for 70 JD ($99 USD). This pass helps to save both time and money.  The cost of a Jordan visa is 40JD and the cost of a 1 day pass to Petra is 50 JD = 90 JD.  The only caveat is that you must stay in Jordan for at least 4 nights / 3 days.  

By having this pass, I saved about 5 minutes in the arrivals area immigrations queue. Instead of paying for a visa, you show the Jordan Pass. Immigration stamps your passport and notes down the Jordan Pass number. Once the passport is stamped, you proceed to the next queue to let you into the baggage claim area. 

Arrival Area

Quick Tip- Before leaving the controlled area, stop at an ATM and get at least 22JD so you can pay for a taxi with cash. The taxis don’t really accept card.  Every ATM I stopped at charged about 3-5 JD in fees. 

Outside there is a taxi queue and a stand, but the people in the stand don’t really do anything. Instead, there is a man outside the stand where you tell him your destination and he matches you to a taxi driver.  

Noteworthy Tips

You can visit the country and DIY it by renting a car. I chose to get a private guide because I was hesitant to drive around. In Amman, people didn’t observe lanes and drove around each other.  Towards Petra, I noticed my driver take a side route that did not appear in google maps. By having a guide, we felt safe and secure. The cost for a driver/guide was about 100 JD per day. It’s not for everyone, but I definitely would recommend Nidal again to anyone visiting Jordan. 

Top 5 things I’ve learned so far at a Startup

A little over six months ago, I decided to pack up my things from Spain and move back to California. Full of motivation and excitement. An optimistic view on how I was going to be in the startup world.

Instead, I was met with a big bucket of cold American work ethics and a splash of reality. A high school friend told me “A job at a startup could be the best experience you’ve ever had or the worst.”  Here’s how its shaping up…

Ever Changing Processes

Simply put, I feel like I’m baking a dozen of chocolate chip cookies only for someone to realize that they don’t like chocolate chip anymore.  Then, I bake oatmeal cookies instead, at which point they said they want muffins now. Do I continue to make cookies or change to muffins? Or not make anything?

I’m realizing that I’m the one that needs to change. Startups need to be able stay flexible and adapt to the overall picture of what we perceive our value added is. My first thought is to grit my teeth and keep all the work I’ve done to plan things out. Are you sure you don’t want cookies? I’m slowly learning not to take it personally when I toss out everything I did the week before. Let me get started on those muffins for you…

Unlimited Vacation versus 4 Weeks of Vacation

When I first joined the company, I thought unlimited vacation meant that I could take a vacation whenever. There wasn’t a set time limit or negative connotation with it. “Unlimited” is a trick word. I should have googled it. In most scenarios, people take less vacation when it’s unlimited.

I self-guilt myself into taking less time off. I find myself checking my email whenever I’m away to make sure I pull my weight at work. The company is small, my day-off affects other people. If I leave, then someone else has to pick up the slack.  I worry the impression it has on everyone else. So instead I try to do mini weekend trips. Anything to not disrupt work.

Me in Colorado over a weekend.

The Struggle with Nomadic Life

I spent so many years changing my lifestyle that I don’t want to slip back into the same habits. Working all the time. Going home only to feed my cat and sleep. How easily I found myself doing the same thing at this startup. First one there, last one to leave. I had a moment where I saw this happening.

Hard stop. I close my laptop and leave now. I tell myself it (work) will be there tomorrow.

Is the startup culture to work day and night?  Is that the way to succeed?  If there’s anything I want to bring to this company, it’s that you can be successful while valuing employee work life balance. Lead by example. People will work harder naturally when they believe in the company. I work a lot, but I also play a lot. Both can exist at the same time.

Salary Expectations

Generally, startups pay about 30% less than industry standards. I think thats because you are taking on some risk for a bigger payout further down the line. Does this work for me? Starting to think about my “worth” I wanted to know the right blend. What’s the formula?

What is/was the lowest wage (excluding volunteering)?

Answer: 35 euros / day for scuba guiding. Commuting an hour each way by bus, leaving my place at 7am and returning home around 4pm.

Worth it. I loved the family-run business in Spain.  I spent most my day in the ocean and showing people octopus and fishes. The day always went by quickly and I enjoyed spending time at the “office.” It’s not a job that would pay all the bills, but yes, 100% return on time and happiness.

What’s the perfect blend?

Sometimes I question if my stress and emotional roller coaster is worth the salary.

Am I selling myself short? Salary doesn’t matter, but it does when you go home feeling stressed out, confused and undervalued in the company. I’m still trying to figure out the stress limits I will accept at this salary level.  If I got paid more, would I mind the stress and personal time sacrifice? Or on the flip side, since I have a lower salary, how do I limit my stress to be happy?

Formula:

A. (Winner): (Salary Expectation)-(less at a job where you like the mission and co-workers) = $$

B. (Salary Expectation) + (Stress Factor x base salary) =$$$$

1 on 1 meetings vs Performance Reviews

In the start up world, these 1 on 1 meetings feel like a mini therapy sessions. I’m talking about my interactions, my motivations and opportunities of self improvement.

Caught in between two generations: Gen X and Millennials.

Gen X: work work work.

Millennials: talk talk talk.

I don’t need to talk about my feelings, but as a manager I need to give my team the opportunity to vent and grow.

From the Manager POV

During these mini performance reviews,  I follow the template: what’s going well, what needs improvement, ask questions about the company, and take feedback.  Sometimes I have nothing but compliments and we high five each other. Other times, I can feel tension growing… hearing them slam down their notes on the keyboard of all the things they want to tell me. I try to understand their point of view and explain what’s going on. I try not to show them if I am also feeling the same thing. I want to stay positive and keep them performing.

From the team member POV

For some reason, when the table flips and I am the team member and not the manager, I get anxious and hesitant. I don’t like talking about everything going on. The relational energy isn’t there.  I focus more on how I’m failing instead. I vent without clear direction of what I expect to change at the company.

Rinse and repeat each month.  I’m in a relationship where the other person wants to “talk” about their feelings all the time. Emotionally draining.

I try to think about how start-ups want to feel connected to their employees. Is this working? Does it help retention and company performance?

Let’s Hang Out – Outside of Work

“You mean you actually like going out with co-workers??”

Yup. Believe it or not. The best part of the start up life is working with people my age or younger. Connecting over something new together. We vent to each other. We like hanging out.

I’m not afraid to be myself.  Previously, I never wanted my co-workers to know everything about me. I wanted to be the “A Student.” I never did anything wrong, and I always just worked hard.

Now, I can be both. My coworkers know I’m human and live outside of work.  I dress the same at work as I do after work. I don’t have to hide who I am.

This feels good.

Conclusions

More and more, I do feel that I am growing more from this experience. Good or bad, I’m happy to be back in California and working with people close to my age.  It’s easy to live on an island and scuba dive everyday. The challenge is trying things that you might not be comfortable with. I’m learning a lot and have no doubt it was the right decision.  Is it my new career? That I can’t say. I can’t say that I will be doing this next year. The startup could fail. Things change.

Note – I wrote this in April, and am only now posting (due to laziness)…

When a Friend of the Family Passes Away

On 9/28/2018 Anthony Yen left this world.  A tall “white” Chinese man with a deep voice and a strong presence. Uncle Tony, my Dad’s brother from another mother.  He had a way to make my Dad laugh and smile like no one else. They knew everything about each other and were friends for over 50 years.

Uncle Tony was half British and half Chinese. Dark Brown hair and round eyes. When my dad worked in LA, they would eat dinner together almost every night. Dad loved telling the Chinese restaurant waitresses that he taught my Uncle Tony Chinese. I see their relationship similar to the ones I have with my best friends and sister. The love that lasts forever. Trying to think of a eulogy to say goodbye to someone so close seems impossible. How do you explain that type of brotherhood to anyone? Out of all my dads friends- he is the one I was closest to.

First memories

During Christmas break of 1985, my dad drove me and Wendy down to la to visit Uncle Tony and his family. During our stay, they found out it was my birthday and promptly threw me a birthday party. After all these years, it’s one of my favorite birthday memories.

 

Last Memories

Maybe a year and a half ago, while visiting the Bay Area, my dad and Uncle Tony asked if we could all have dinner. I made a half joke about having to drive alone to dinner. The third or fifth wheel to everything. Uncle Tony told me that I wasn’t solo and he’d ride with me  to dinner, hugging me.  A small but endearing moment.  A positive fixture in my life. It was the last time I would see him healthy.

Cancer

Both my dad and uncle Tony were diagnosed with cancer in 2010/2011 . Each person went through surgery and treatment pushing the cancer into remission. However, in 2016 Uncle Tony’s cancer came back.  The doctor estimated one year. This time he declined chemo treatment and chose holistic and organic treatment. I was angry. Yet I couldn’t say anything.  Everyone pretended it was going to be ok. I told myself it was his quality of life – and maybe this was better. But now after the fact, I wish I could have convinced him to choose life. To stay here just a little bit longer.

This last year he deferred my visit requests. I don’t think he wanted to see him weak and un well. Each time we talked- he would say he would see me when he recovered.  I had been hopeful to see him at Wendy’s wedding, but he was too weak to make the trip. I think in the back of my mind, I knew I would never see him healthy again, but I pretended that one day would be better. If I didn’t think about it, then I wouldn’t have to face the grim facts.

Regrets

I regret not seeing Uncle Tony one more time. Why did we all pretend that holistic treatment was going to make the cancer go away? I’m mad that he died. Would oncologists have been able to save him? I regret not making it a bigger deal with my Dad. Instead now, I get angry at God for taking away a good man too soon. He was my Dad’s best friend and I don’t know if anyone else understood every aspect of my dad as well he did.

The Funeral

The day to say goodbye was hard. I thought about how I would always look for Uncle Tony when I went with my Dad to see his friends. Now his face is gone from the crowd. Instead his photo sat on an easel, next to the coffin that looked too small to fit someone with that much personality. Tears rolled down my face. I couldn’t say out loud what I was feeling.

Saying Goodbye to Uncle Tony

Uncle Tony – I hope this next journey brings you peace. I’ll try to keep the positive attitude you had with my Dad. Take him to try new restaurants. Encourage him to travel. Live live to the fullest. I know I never told you thank you…. but thank you for being a part of our family.

Rest In Peace Uncle Tony

We love you.

Why Its a Mistake to Leave the Digital Nomad Life

It’s only Wednesday. I’m trapped at a desk. I’m anxious. Boxed in by computer screens and some hipster glass conference rooms. Long 8 hour days. Everyone else is working. I hear loud chatter in the background from a sales specialist talking about how our daycares are the best ever. I look down. One of the office dogs is staring at me. He wants some food. Maybe if I get a dog, I won’t mind being here. Red Hot Chili Peppers is playing in the background. I take a deep breath…. sigh.

What have I done?

Transitioning from the Island Life to A Normal 9-5 Job

Imagine you can do anything you want to do. What do you choose? Move to an island and relax. Happily ever after. Or is it?

For the past 2+ years, I’ve been floating around and living life day by day. I’ve been traveling. Trying out different careers. Divemaster. English Teacher. SEO. Permanent Traveler.

SEO

When I decided to quit engineering, I called the two people I knew that could help me. Matt and Robert. We were all electrical engineering majors. But not the typical nerds. We all wanted to do something different. Matt and Robert read Four Hour Work Week and quit their jobs a few years before  me. I looked to them for guidance. Robert gave me a job / internship to learn about SEO. Matt called me every week to coach me on how to start over. Over a few months I learned the ropes and moved to Thailand to learn how to do SEO solo. I created my own company. My bestie helped me find customers. I networked. I worked. I became a Digital Nomad. I became a cliche macbook pro user at a coffee shop.

I do SEO because I like to see the results. It’s all on me. I’m my own boss. Some days I struggle. Stress. Worry. I’m constantly learning more about balancing work and life. The money let me live where ever I wanted. When I want to travel, I go. When I want to go home. I fly to California. Thankful SEO gives me that flexibility.

Working Remotely

There are no days off. Yet, everyday can be a day off. The best part of having my own company is being able to work anywhere I want. Budapest for 10 days. Tour during the day. Work in the afternoon. Out again for dinner and drinks. Rinse and Repeat.

The Downside

Some Days I don’t want to be that tourist. Some days I want to watch Netflix with friends. Lay on the sofa with them and reminisce about how crazy we were in college.  Hang out. Face-time is a substitute, but not the same. I’ve been fortunate to make friends in every city. But that doesn’t replace my best friends. There were so many times I felt alone.  Missing the casual days where I  would sit there watching my friends cook in the kitchen. Having them poke at my non-existent love life.  Talk to me about nothing and everything at the same time.

The Pitch to Join a StartUp

Initially when my friend Jesse messaged me asking if I would work for him. I responded flat out NO. No way! I’m done working for the man. But as he started explaining his company I became more and more interested. Maybe this is something I can get into. The more we talked, I could feel myself get more excited to be part of a team. To make something bigger. Would this be the same? I would be the program manager, have equity in the company. Provide guidance. Challenge myself.

Selling Out

Returning to a 40 Hour work week? Have I lost my mind?

Let me think about this…

Pros Cons
Seeing Friends again in LA and California Lost Ability to Work from Anywhere
Being Part of a large Team that could change the childcare – preschool industry Endless Amounts of Vacation
Showcasing my Program Manager Abilities Loss of Low Rent  // No Longer Living in Europe
New Job Will Force Me to make my own company Efficient – > Hire New Employees Lose my Spanish
Making New Friends with Similar Entrepreneur mindset Being Forced to work M-F 40 hour schedule
Try the Experience in a Startup Loss of Free Time

Regretting My Choice

I didn’t think the cons were a big deal. Loss of free time and remote working. I was wrong. The first week in an office I felt extreme anxiety and caged. I felt like a feral dog brought into a home.  Maybe this was going to be harder than I thought. Learning everything about this new company. After work I catch up on my own company and balance with unpacking and settling into LA again. Each day I feel anxious. How do I explain what I’ve done to everyone?  It shouldn’t matter, but I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

Is it about the money?

Spain is cheap. LA is not. Rent in Seattle was $1400, $400 in Tenerife and here its over $2000. I added more salary with this new job, but I feel like all the extra money goes to the cost of living. I tell myself I’m working for the experience and not the money. Its about feeling rooted. Seeing my friends. Coming back to America. After I got my first paycheck, I realized its definitely not about the money. American taxes and corporate life really do make you pay.

Good Bye Solo life and Hello Wolf Pack

Goodbye digital nomad life. We had a good run. See you later.

What Two White Shirt Mormon Missionaries Taught Me

Knock Knock. Who’s There? Mormons.  Silence. Hello?

Now repeat this everyday for 2 years.

Every wonder why Mormons do this? Why spread the word of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints? Well, I did. So on one insignificant day, I talked to two young Mormons while walking around in Tenerife. One was from New  York and the other one was from Sweden. Elder Hinkley and Elder Holstrom.  I didn’t ask them about their underwear or anything weird like that. I just wanted to have some company and know about the Mormon religion.

Science and Religion – Do They Mix?

Having a science background, I believe in evolution, dinosaurs, Pangea, Darwinism, and so much more. I can’t think of a way to explain how Adam and Eve would fit into these scientific histories. Yet, I believe Jesus was a real person.  I believe he was performed miracles and died for our sins.

Growing up, I went to a Christian Baptist Church for most of my childhood. I had a Precious Moments Bible. Thursday Youth nights and Sunday school sermons. I got excited for new dresses for Easter. I sang songs like –

Father Abraham,  Had Many Sons. Many Sons had Father Abraham… I am one of them, and so are you….

So What happened between being 13 singing songs of Christianity and Now?

Belief versus Faith versus Truth

Belief

I drink water from the faucet because I believe that it’s clean. I haven’t checked the mineral levels, or completed any tests. I simply drink the water because everyone drinks the water. No one has gotten sick. I believe that it’s clean.  If I were to test it or google test results, I could prove that the water is clean (or not clean), and that would change the water safety to a truth. I don’t bother because I haven’t gotten sick, and I don’t care. That’s my belief.

Faith

My Dad loves me. I have faith that he will love me no matter what I do or happens in life. I can do countless tests, but there variations are infinite, so is there a way to 100% truth that my dad loves me? Not really, but I I have faith that he does. Faith can be tested but never truly proven true or false. The tests would only make one lose or gain faith.

Truths

Science related. Truths are things you google verify on snopes. Is it a truth that Eve bit the apple? Some say yes. But to me, that is not a truth. That’s your belief.

Joseph Smith – Prophet of God

Why do they do this?

Missionaries – A once if a lifetime opportunity to go on a trip for 2 years to preach about religion. Every 6 weeks each “elder” meets another Elder. The two learned Spanish prior to arriving to Tenerife and worked 6 days a week preaching the gospel of Mormonism. Thinking back to when I was 18-20, it would have been really interesting to go on a trip abroad and meet someone with similar beliefs every 6 weeks. Tenerife, not a bad place to live for 2 years. See the world. Tell people about  your loved prophet, Joseph Smith and the son of God, Jesus Christ.  Help people.

Our first meeting, I took the two Mormons to a local coffee shop. I drank coffee while we chatted for an hour. We started in Spanish, but all the words were too complicated for me to understand. So they switched to English. The hour went by quickly. I stayed at the cafe and they went to their next appointment.

Walking around La Laguna. Meeting new people. Practicing Spanish. Telling people about who you love and believe in. Now compare this to your job. Is it better or worse? I’m sure they have good days and bad days. But each time I met with the Elders, they were in good spirits and talked about their Faith energetically.

Reading the Book of Mormon

Before this month, I never opened the book of  Mormon. I was actually surprised about how “readable” the text was. The first reading the Mormons gave me was the intro. It explained that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and provided testimonials validating the information he found on the gold plates. (The gold plates remind me of the 10 commandments Moses brought down from God, but these gold plates included in the information we find in the Book of Mormon today).
The Elders really wanted to explain to me that this was Truth. They believed it. They had faith in it. Is it scientifically proven? No. ummmmmm….  However, I believe they take it as a truth.  I respected their religion and point of view and decided not to fight it.

Going to Hell

As I continued to read different passages in the book of Mormon, I became more and more interested. Mormons have three kingdoms after death. Kids and babies that aren’t baptized aren’t going to hell.  They believe that a child under the age of 8 does not have the reason or knowledge to be judged and shouldn’t be judged unfavorable in the afterlife. They go to a heaven where good people (that aren’t Mormons) go. Same thing for the Dali Lama. If I continued to be a “good” person, I would go there too even if  I wasn’t baptized in the Mormon faith.

This made sense to me. One of the challenges of Christianity for me is thinking that good people would go to Hell if they weren’t baptized. No one can say in all certainty what happens after we die. But I want to believe that no matter what, our spirits will go to good resting places depending on how we live our lives on Earth.  I want to be able to see my grandpa and reconnect in the afterlife.

So what did I learn?

Missionaries are just people out on an adventure. These two guys didn’t miss coffee or alcohol, because they never tried it. They didn’t care about it. They spread the word of Mormonism because they believe it to be True. Saving people and helping others. They aren’t annoying salesman. They aren’t as ridiculous as the Book of Mormon Play or how South Park portrays them to be.

Imagine the feeling you would get from helping a person find faith and improve their outlook on life. Thats their goal. Perhaps someone lost or lonely or depressed – and you were the one to be there to help.

Chatting with Door Knocking People

I had time to spare and I hope I helped to make two young missionaries have a good day.  After a couple of meetings with the two white shirts, I learned about  Mormonism without being pressured to convert. I got to ask some silly questions about coffee and their temples. They got to dispel false rumors. I didn’t stop drinking coffee or alcohol, and it was nice to find out I wouldn’t be going to the Mormon’s version of hell.

Religion in time of need

About two years ago, a friend of mine, offered me her story of how God was there to help her when she thought she was all alone in the world. She didn’t know how to get out of an abusive relationship. Didn’t know how she would find a place to live or get a job to support herself. Then someone from a church reached out to her and helped her find a place to live. She found a job. She became part of the church community and felt safe.  She asked me to open my heart and let Jesus in to help. With my heart open, I could start a new and better life.

I think she could see that I wasn’t in a happy place. I had just left my career and relationship. There was something off about me. Then I wondered if the Mormons had sensed something off about me. I was just wrapping up my teaching experience in La Orotava, living in a new neighborhood with most of my American friends gone.  Juggling loneliness and anxiety. Had they seen something in me where religion could help?

Why is religion so important in some people’s lives versus others. I think about how alone I am in Tenerife and realize that if I didn’t have friends or coworkers that I may have joined a church for a sense of community. Someone to accept me and spend time with. Maybe from there, I would read stories about what happened in the past and use that to help make future decisions. If things got better in my life, would it be because of the Church and Jesus?  Maybe I could find a modern church somewhere that believed Gays were normal, abortions were ok, and Noah didn’t really have an ark. Would it be that weird?

My New Faith in Jesus

Honestly, I believe that their is a higher being out there that has an impact on our souls. Whether his name is Allah, Yaweh, or God. I do not know. I call him God and I believe his son was Jesus. That’s my faith. I believe that I can live my life on a set of good morals and go to heaven or maybe be reincarnated. The afterlife will never be known to the living.

If I am ever lost without hope, I can turn to religion for help. Am I at that point? No. I’m still okay with living my life the same way. I know things will always workout. Things happen for reason I can’t explain. I just go with the flow. In the same mixed Faith with traces of Christianity, Buddhism, and Science.

Auxiliares de Conversacion – A Teaching Experience in La Orotava

How did I wind up in Spain? And where is the Canary Islands? The entire process actually started February of 2017. My friend had completed the same job in Madrid and encouraged me to apply. The Auxiliares de Conversacion position required one to be a  native English speaker from USA or Canada and a have college degree.

The position provided:

  • The ability to obtain a Visa for 8 months (October – May)
  • Up to 16 hours of work/ week for 933 euros a month.

A few months later in June 2017, I accepted a teaching assistant job (Auxiliares de Conversacion) from the Gobierno de Canario. Sounds simple enough. What the requisition didn’t provide was all the details of transitioning into Spanish culture. The struggles and the delights. Would I do it over again? In a heartbeat. Looking back on the 8 months, I realize that I have changed for the better, and hopefully that one would think I am, not only an Asian American, but also a little Canarian now.

 How is Canary Islands Different from Spain?

People say it’s the Hawaii of Europe. Islander life- A slow pace, chill lifestyle. How can one be stressed or angry living on an island with beautiful views everywhere?

I think Canarians like to acknowledge that they are friendly than the Peninsula Spaniards. Hospitality unmatched.  Each Canarian I met welcomed me with open arms and went above and beyond to make sure I enjoyed me time here. At first, I resisted. In America, it’s not normal to say hello to strangers on the street. Go to your coworkers’ parent’s home for dinner. I wasn’t sure how to integrate with everyone.

Immersed in the way of life here, I couldn’t help but be converted. Here, I learned to value my time over work. The importance of relaxation and “me” time. Each day after school, I would take a small siesta and relax until 5pm. During that time, I would “get nothing done.” That’s right. Two full hours of me time.

After that mini-me time, motivation would be renewed. Now that rest is over, I had to get up and be productive again for another 3 hours. Some days, I would work on my internet tasks, other days I would practice my Spanish grammar.

The Wages

Is the monthly allowance from Auxiliares de Conversacion enough?

You can definitely “survive” on the 933 euros a month. The rent for a standard studio was about 400 euros a month (mine was a little less expensive). Although you wouldn’t be able to do anything else. Most other Auxiliares gave English lessons to students or online.  I worked online after school for additional income. The price of a coffee here is 1 euro, a sandwich 2-3 euros. A dinner could be enjoyed for less than 10 euros. All my coworkers were always so generous in treating me to coffee or lunch.

What do you need to teach?

“Teaching is so easy and I definitely am overpaid.” Said NO ONE ever.

Teaching requires a lot of planning, interaction, discipline and organization. What’s more mentally challenging? Designing a plane or getting a teenager to try and apply himself to learn? The teenager. With design, I only needed to know the technical requirements. With a teenager, I need to pray to the gods to give me the strength of patience. It would take every ounce of civility in me to be nice and encouraging to a student who couldn’t care less about their future.  It’s embarrassing to say this, but some days if a difficult student’s chair was empty, I would let out a little sigh of relief. This day would be a little easier.  Examples? Well, one day a student told me “Leslie, Son of a bitch.” I pretend I don’t understand. “Sun at the beach? You want to go to the beach? Why?” Then he would say it again. I would repeat the pronunciation of “BEE-CH”. “Beach.” This would go on until he gave up and other students would laugh at his failure on pronouncing a “bad word.” Afterwards, I would ask him other English phrases we were studying to focus on “clean words.” What’s this? A pencil. What’s this? A desk.

In all, there was in fact, only 3 times, where I had to report a student to the teacher for saying/teasing me inappropriately. Whenever I did have to “tell” on a student, I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t handle the situation on my own. I was failing on being a strong authoritative teaching assistant.

Do I have an authority as a teacher?

One of the rules in the program is that the Auxiliares de Conversacion are not allowed to be left alone with the students. We are aids, not teachers responsible for the students. With that being said, I wasn’t sure if I had any authority to impose penalties for misbehavior. No one ever told me the guidelines or what I should do. I couldn’t figure out if my role should be as a friend to them or as a supervisor. My overall goal was to encourage them to speak English. I decided to kill them with kindness. I would be the one to help them. Let them know I was there as an English aid, not a teacher that would grade them. Whenever I would see the students around town, I would always wave and speak in English. “How are you?!” My heart would fill with joy every time they answered” I’m fine thank you and you?”

The GOOD days

The majority of students want to learn. They want someone to pay attention to them. I always liked kneeling next to a student to help them with their workbook or have a little English chat.  The best feeling, for me, was when a student’s face would light up, I could see they linked the English phrase to the Spanish one.  They understood what I was saying. Yes! I did something!

The Boring Days

Not every day can be a winner. There were the days where the teacher needed to explain the grammar or the terms in Spanish. I would sit in the back of class and try my hardest not to fall asleep. I wasn’t sure if the teachers wanted me to contribute more, or not. I wanted to go with the flow and not create more work for the teachers.  Looking back, I wish I had been more proactive about the lesson plans.

Occasionally, I would try to walk around and assist students, but either they weren’t in the mood, or I couldn’t find the strength to force them to participate. When a student hides their workbook from you and only speaks in Spanish and pretends to go to sleep… what can be done to get them to speak in English? The more I pulled the workbook and spoke English, the more resistance I would get. On these days, I would lose motivation and let the student win. But did he really win?  I think he lost the time and opportunity to learn English. Like English- I had the same resistance to Chinese. Like my parents would say- “One day you will regret not learning more Chinese!” How right they were.

CEO Manuel De Falla

The teachers, the administrative staff, the kitchen staff, and groundskeepers are caring and attentive. Unique amongst all other schools in the North, My school included a ethnography exhibit with an entire historic home replica, including a hayloft, gofio mechanisms, cooking area and clothes washing station. In the back of the school there was a vegetable garden for the kids, Orange trees, Avocado trees, donkeys (Cano and Chiquito), rabbits, and goats. The school even had a coffee shop where the teachers could relax during break. (Though the constant rain destroyed some of the electrical in the coffee shop, but thats another story.)

Comparing with other English teaching assistants, I really felt like I won the lottery in school selection. All of the my English teachers were excellent in both English and teaching.  They taught me what it meant to be a good teacher. Other Auxiliares de Conversacion would tell me horror stories of classes out of control, misogynistic male teachers, prejudiced and ignorant teachers. I couldn’t relate. My school contained none of these negative factors.

My school was both a primary school and a secondary school, in a rural area, up the mountain towards Teide. I was the first ever Auxiliares de Conversacion for the school. We had some sunny days, but overall, the majority of my time at school included a down jacket and a scarf. It was a small price to pay for such an interactive school. Finishing school each day, I would start shedding my layers of jackets as the bus descended down the mountain towards the warmer beach weather.  Here are some of the fun activities we got to do during the school year:

  • Learn how to make Queso Fresco
  • Field trip with 3-5 year olds in Puerto De La Cruz
  • Attend an evening at school with local choir/music groups followed by Canarian Food
  • Roast chestnuts and ride metal sleds
  • Dress up for for Canarian Day (Our School had a Special Boda / Wedding)

Do you need to know Spanish before coming to Spain?

Yes and No. I had about 2 weeks of duolingo Spanish under my belt. The first few months I hammered myself with Spanish TV, Spanish workbooks, Spanish lessons. Each day I would lay down for a siesta and my brain would hurt. I thought I would pick up the language quickly, especially since I would be living in a small town. Nope. Didn’t happen. Learning language through daily life without taking a proper course reminds me of learning to swim. Sure you eventually will swim, but not before you feel like your drowning and swallow a bunch of water. My swimming technique improved 100 times when I joined a swim team. I was foolish to think I could learn Spanish fast. The language takes dedicated time and proper studying. Hindsight, I wish I arrived a month earlier and taken a Spanish immersion course.

Nonw, after 8 months of living here, I can:

  • Understand when someone is mad at me
  • Tell people (in Spanish) that I’m learning Spanish
  • Order food
  • Talk about the weather

That’s pretty much it. I originally thought I would fully immerse myself and find Spanish friends and boom! Spanish would seep into my blood. But since I was so lost in the Spanish language, I could not engage anyone above talking about the weather. I grew tired and frustrated at myself. I grew lonely. Not being able to communicate is tough. The social aspect of attending Spanish events and not being able to communicate was too much for me to handle.

Giving Up and Speaking English

To combat loneliness, I became friends with a few of the other Auxiliares de Conversacion. It was such a reward to spend time with them after a long of day of incomprehension.  We all had similar problems. Culture shock.  Language struggles.  Spanish Bureaucracy. Words would roll off my tongue. I finally realized now why most of the Chinese foreign exchange students in California would always hang out with each other than assimilating. Sometimes you need that in order to find sanity in living in such a different world. I didn’t want to be judged, I only wanted someone to understand what I was experiencing. I could tell them about my struggles and vice versa.

Challenges with Gobierno (Spanish Government)

The process of obtaining a TIE/ Visa in Spain felt like an epic 20 year Odyssey journey. Each time I felt the finish line was within reach, something would happen and I would need more paperwork to complete the process.

The first Visa

In June, upon accepting the Auxiliares de Conversacion position, I gathered all the necessary paperwork and sent it to the Spanish embassy. This included:

  • Multiple Passport Photos
  • Background Check Request
  • Finger Prints from the local police station in Seattle
  • A background Check Letter from the DOJ of California
  • An apostille verification stamp on my Background Report
  • My Auxiliares de Conversacion Employment Offer Letter

All this information and my passport was sent to the Spanish Embassy in San Francisco. Processing time stated on the web was one month, but really it took a week before I got an email of approval.  This first visa is only valid for 3 months. All the paperwork was supposed to be returned to me, but the embassy kept it. The rule for the next visa requires the same paperwork, but depending on the day, you may or may not be requested for it.

Achieving a Visa and a TIE card

In Spain, I had to do the following to get my Auxiliares de Conversacion Estancia Visa:

  • Go to an Estancia Office to get an official letter to document my job as a Auxiliares de Conversacion
  • Get a bank account (that took three attempts at different banks)
  • Request 2 different appointments at the police station (first one to fill the paperwork, and the second to pick up the card)
  • A trip to a bank account to pay for the TIE card
  • A local Spanish SIM card / telephone number
  • Provide an Empadronamiento from the City Hall confirming my new residence and lease
  • Provide the Official Job Offer from the Gobierno for the Auxiliares de Conversacion

All of the above was completed in my most unfortunate state of Spanish.  The struggle was real.

All businesses close by 2pm for Lunch/ Siesta. Even when I went get my SIM card, the phone company would say the lines are down, so come back tomorrow. Nothing was easy. Each day after school it was a rush to try to get things completed in time before the businesses close.

In fact, I didn’t receive my permanent Visa until the end of December. From there, it was only valid until the end of May.

Spanish Bureaucracy

If you first don’t succeed, hang up and call again.  I learned that your day could go fast or slow depending on the person working that day. Need a bus pass? Depends on who is working. Need a rental car? Same answer. Want an arepa from the girl at the bus station? Get ready for the worst service of your life.  The workaround to frustration, for me, was to realize it’s all chance. Be nice. Plead. Beg. Smile. Keep asking for what you want, until someone has mercy on your soul and will help you.

My day could change like the weather… one minute everything would be great. The next, cancelations, missed buses, closed stores. My day would be a catastrophe. The good news is that I learned in Spain – everything has a way of somehow working out.

No pasa nada.  – My favorite phrase in Spanish. Don’t worry about it.

Conclusions

This has been an experience of a lifetime. I wish more people knew about being an Auxiliares de Conversacion -España.  Immersed in a totally different culture than my American and Chinese background. I could never have expected the influence it would have on me. I’ve made life long friends, countless memories and maybe even learned a little Spanish.

Planning a Bachelorette Party in Los Angeles

Being a maid of honor has many responsibilities, but perhaps one of the most important one is to plan the Bachelorette party. There are many things I needed consider

  1. Budget
  2. Destination
  3. Activities
  4. Trip Length

Of course, it would be amazing to go on a trip of a lifetime, all expenses paid. But really, who has friends with unlimited budget? Maybe there is one or two people in a group that can spend $5k on a vacation, but most people have limited recourses, jobs, no vacation time, or mommy duties.

Weekend Getaway or More? Choosing the Length of Stay

Originally I wanted to take my sis on a cruise for about a week. However, all of her friends had more vacation limitations. Instead I decided that a weekend trip: Friday through Sunday would be the best choice.  Most of her friends lived in the bay area, San Jose. So, I wanted to choose a location that would be a short plane ride away (and an affordable plane ride)

Hollywood

Los Angeles is a big city with many different areas to explore. Personally, living in Santa Monica, I would have loved to have the beach and Westside to share with everyone. However, it’s not the best “party area.”  I wanted something that would be centrally located so that we wouldn’t have to sit in an hour or more traffic in each direction.  Here’s a simple table I made to help (those not familiar with LA)

City  / Area Type of People Things to Do
Santa Monica / Malibu (West Side) Healthier / Yoga Like Beaches, Lounging
Downtown Multi-cultural / hipster Bars / Foodies
Hollywood Tourists/  Actors People Watching / Night Clubs
K-Town Hipsters / Asians KBBQ, late night grub
Beverly Hills Bougie Shopping
Echo Park Hipsters Dive Bars, Foodies
The Valley / Burbank Suburbs Universal City Walk/ Studios

There are definitely more neighborhoods, and I’m being over the top stereotypical, but the generalization should help decide where to stay.

To complete the “LA experience” I decided to find a Hollywood Hills Mansion.  Its where all the shows on E! channel film and it’s close enough to Universal Studios.

Budget

Here’s where it gets tricky. Some people can spend $100+ a night on accommodation. Some want to stay in a hostel.  So to combat this, I decided that I could create a survey for all the guests so they could list the amount of money they would be willing to pay. The total amount of money per night would help decide on accommodation.  For example, person A is willing to pay $100, person B is willing to pay $75, person C is willing to pay $20.  For 3 guests, I have at least $200 a night, not including my share (and my sister’s share).  In theory, I thought person C would get a smaller room, versus a person paying $100 a night.

Bargaining with Airbnb

Many people don’t know this, but you can contact Airbnb hosts and ask for a discount. Sometimes if there is a lot of vacancy, they can throw you a bone. One Home in Malibu offered me about $300 off a night.

Reasonable Fees per Night

  • Basic House: $300-600
  • Hotel room: $150-$400
  • Mansion: $600+

Activities – Things to do during a Hen Party

There’s a long list of activities in Los Angeles for Bachelorette parties.  For example, here are some of the items I was thinking about doing:

  • Universal Studios
  • Magic Mountain
  • Spa Day (Korean Spa, Glen Ivy, Burke Williams)
  • Beach Lounging
  • Surf or Paddle Board Lessons
  • Food Classes
  • Comedy Shows
  • Concerts
  • Hiking (Griffith Observatory, Hollywood Sign, etc)
  • Broadway Show
  • Strip Club
  • Burlesque Club
  • Night Clubs
  • Bars / Cocktail Bars
  • Museums

In the end it all comes down to what the Bride loves to do. Does she like the outdoors or is she a homebody?

Getting Around in LA

Having a group of 5 or more requires at least 2 rental cars. We had a group of 10 people. I had rented a car that seated 7 people. I was able to pick up and shuffle people around the airport.  For dinners and clubs, we decided to leave the rental car at home and take 2 lyft/ubers.  This enabled all of us to drink and not worry about DUIs.  The average price of an uber ranged from $10-30 per vehicle.  Split amongst at least 4 people at a time, it wasn’t too expensive. Being the organizer. I would assign people to use their app to call ubers to break up the cost.  One person needs to always delegates these little things. I kept a little log of the prices to make sure that each person paid around the same price.

Being Flexible

You can only plan so much. I tried to plan each day with 2 big activities and at least one place to eat.  Everything else would be flexible. Maybe people want to relax or hang out in the hot tub.  By making reservations or scheduling a cooking class, I took away the stress of picking one place to eat.  Other times, someone could suggest something, or we could eat something at the house.

Making it Memorable

What to tell the bride? My sister is a planner, and she wanted to help plan her own bachelorette weekend. I gave her a rough outline of the weekend, but I tried to give her little surprises throughout the weekend to make it memorable.  Thisway she had an idea of what to pack and wear.

The Itinerary

Finally, the bachelorette party weekend had arrived. I flew in a day before to make sure that I could have the rental car and party preparations ready.

Day one – Friday

On Friday afternoon, I picked up have of the group from the airport and took them to the Grove for a quick tour of the outdoor mall and farmers market in the center of Los Angeles. We did some light shopping and picked up some snacks at Trader Joes. Shortly afterwards we went to Hollywood Hills to see our mansion. I picked a place with a rooftop deck and hot tub with sweeping views of the city.

For Dinner – I chose to surprise her with a private Thai cooking class. Our chef arrived with all the ingredients and mini cooking card souvenirs.  For the next 2 hours we learned about Thai ingredients, how to properly chop garlic and more.  We ate and enjoyed the sunset from the house

Cliché – Strip Club and Dancing

No bachelorette party seems to be complete without a trip to see men stripping off their clothes. I booked a VIP table in the front for my sister at Hollywood men. We were a group of 11 women and 2 gay guys, all excited with our $1s. At first, many people had their doubts if this would be fun. But everyone was happily surprised. We laughed and giggled.  The best part was that my sis had a great time.  After the club, we headed down the street to a tiki bar, where we ordered fancy cocktails and danced to some 80’s music.

Day Two- Saturday

The next morning, we woke up somewhat early to get ready for our big Day at Universal Studios. My sis is a BIG Harry Potter Fan. Because of my super awesome friend, we were able to get a small discount to tickets to Universal Studios.  We went prepared with our Wands ready! By 5 or 6pm, we were worn out and decided to head back to the house for a siesta

In the evening, I planned to take the ladies out to Downtown LA for  change of scenary.  We went to Bird and Bees for some fancy mixology cocktails.   Something a little different.  The only snafu was that I forgot to mention that cocktails, although delicious, are somewhat strong in liquour. Philip fell victim to the cosmo cocktail.

Bestia – My absolute Favorite Restaurant

Perhaps my all time favorite restaurant in LA is Bestia. I think it embodies Los Angeles. It’s hidden away in some random area of Downtown LA. Its got high ceilings and brick walls and an open kitchen.  We had a large group of people, so I made reservations 60 days in advance and chose to pick a set family style menu.  I pre-paid for the bill and had everyone else pay for their own drinks.  I kept my fingers crossed that everyone would enjoy it…. And thank god, each person had nothing but compliments on each dish.  At the end of the meal, we even took left overs home, so that we could munch on them in the morning!  Originally I had planned to go bar hopping after dinner, but everyone was so full and worn out that we just headed back to the house.

Day three- Sunday

The last day! In the morning, I shuttled some peeps to the airport. I purchased some coffee and treats for a light breakfast on the rooftop deck.  We sipped on coffee while chatting about the weekend.  Finally when everyone was awake and ready, we headed to West Hollywood for some people watching.

Brunch? I wanted to take people out for some brunch, but everyone was not in the mood to drink. Instead, we went to the Shake shack for some burgers and shakes.  The last meal of the weekend.

 

 

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